Tuesday, September 05, 2006

So this is the first time.. for the last time
I know what i see in your eyes and i cant ignore it any longer
Ready to walk away.. when i really just want to stay
Stare at the sky with you for a while..
Time was all i asked for.. and i took too much
Now its too late to give back the time i need
Its too late to walk away from myself
Too many thoughts
Too many dreams..
Too much heartache if you were to walk away
Ask me to stay and i will..
Test me to fight and i will die trying
Show me where you want to go and i will follow
So i was broken.. maybe i still am.. but i am finding all the pieces again
Could you stay awhile
Maybe show me where it is I meant to go
Take me in your arms again..
Let daylight come.. again and again
Im afraid to show you where I have been
Im afraid to let you hold onto something so unstable
iM WATCHING you go through your motions as my heart breaks
Im watching you walk away everytime we speak
Im searching for you.. the man i once loved and i fear he may not be coming back
Sometimes in life you have to cut your losses because it tears you down too much to stay
Im lying awake tonight.. every night.. hoping you find your way back to me
That one day you will just show up and everything will be behind us..
But its not.. i can no longer sit hear and listen to you hate me
I can no longer take only my shame but the way you break me down at will
Im already breaking.. why are you trying to shatter what is left?
Im already bleeding.. why are you still stabbing me?
I need who you once were..
Are you even still there?
Im already trying.. when will you?
Surrounding yourself with distractions.. yeah i know it feels good
If you truly wanted to get through this, you would be here with me right now
You dont want to make this work.. you want me to be what i am not
You categorize who I am by mistakes I have made
A liar.. a cheater
Thats not who i am.. it is what i have done.. and I hate what I have done..
I do not hate who I am
Did you forget I told the truth as well?
I can only hold on so long
I can only take so much of your lashing out
before i try to protect myself from you...
You deserve to feel
You deserve to tell me how much it hurts
You tell me I dont listen
I dont see it your way...
I cant see anything but your way.. and although it doesnt feel good
I let you come out at me
I let you tell me everything i have done was wrong
I let you call me things that make it easier for you to deal with what i have done
I love you.. and I am trying to help you through this.. even if it hurts me more
I sit there crying and you tell me im not hurting
I sit there begging.. and you tell me I dont want you
I have rendered myself helpless

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