Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Let me not live.

If this is the time you walk away
If this is your goodbye
If this is the way it has to be
If god has taken you away from me
Let me not live in vain
Let my heart not leave
Take me with you
How can i let go of something that only pulled me close
Its not ok for me to stay if this is not where you are

If this is the time you walk away
So many things left unsaid
too few words worthy of saying them
If this is the final day you breath
Let me give you my lungs instead
I cant live to let you leave

You are the difference between comfort and disease
You are the barrier of my insanity
Nothing will ever be the same

Although you may be sleeping unaware of all things
It feels like You are wide awake and staring at me
Pulling me into you
ive layed myself before you
waiting for you to come back
as i cry myself to sleep

Im waiting to hear he voice i cannot bare
You leave shadows in my mind
a shiver in my soul that frightens me love
What will i do without you?

Did you really think i was just going to let you go?
Did you think i was just going to say my goodbyes?

I dont want to be the reason for your unhappiness
I dont want you to feel you are failing because you love me
I only want to see you smiling
Hold you when you cry
Love you when you need me
Show you what you want to see...
Anything you ask for is yours..
Forever if you ask
For now.. if you cannot stay

Wednesday, July 19, 2006


In the mid-night the fireflies have left all but ashes for us to dance with
I crave the way your eyes lust for me as we dance by the fire of reality and dream
Passionate kisses as we pass in time.. but only lingering for a moment
I have missed you my precious hatred
Allowing me to fall in love with a traveling wind
An apparition in the mist
I reach for you as you fade time and time over
I know I am the sacrifice and You the God standing above me
What more pleasing way to go
Bind me at your will
Tear me down to my knees and look into my eyes
Gently kiss these lips that you adore in moderation
Im down among a million souls
Fighting the tears to hold you
But I am bound.. oblivious to my fate
Join me in insanity...
Touch my porcelain skin and numb my senses
I fear the daylight..
SHall we run from it forever?
As the fire fades away.. what is your decision..
Simplistic desires to fulfill your moment for now?
Snapshots of this place we desire
Black.. into white
Close your eyes and pose for me love

Capture me in your eyes

Tuesday, July 18, 2006


Do things ever really change? Does life ever take a turn for the better?
How long before the aching fades away?
What are the magic words I need to say?
Feeling so lost and yet I have no care in the world for where I have ended up
He is not here with me...
What does it really matter...
Im so fucking needy
I cannot stand the fact that I live to be loved
I love to feel alive
I have died to become what? This shell of a person I once was
This beautiful person once so very much in love.. People hated her
This person who was Envied
Now a Shadow of someone Long gone and cast away
Cast away.. That is what I have become
The one he is ashamed of loving..
The one he will No longer divulge in the idea of
The one who had stolen his heart and soul.. and he dare press charges for theft
Cast away into the darkness which remains inside his soul
Cast away into the world, never to be found again
He isnt searching for me
He isnt searching for anyone
He has given up on himself
And in turn... well you know
Its just another day.. you have made each day A joke
I cant wait until this is over..
Till I can lie down and say goodbye
Till I can fall asleep and never have to remember you again
If you had a problem with me, Well Its your problem now
I fought you to the floor
I begged you to not hurt me anymore
Im making you aware.. of the things You dont want to know
Whether you like it or not.. Why should i face this alone
Why should I care that this hurts You too?
Why should I care that this was the hardest thing you have ever done?
Why should I believe anything you say??

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

All i need to know.

Sickened as a whisper in the wind...
This voice with no touch
These eyes with no sight
Like a poison You writhe into my veins
Careless of which direction you take
Foolish of my heart and yours
Tear away from me..
Words roll off my tongue like a despiteful kiss
Waiting to be heard.. really heard
Not just gazed upon
Let me distract you as you defend your way through this life
Let me numb the anguish you must prevail
I told you I never want to feel like this again
Why wont you just go away?
You gave the rain its ending..
I just want to bring it back
I will fall and know where to go..
In the darkness i remain
The tears of hope have been my only consolation
The only ones left I still fight
So alive within..
While dying in this place
I found the ground and here I shall remain
Remember me in that smile you rarely find
in the breaze gently passing your face
In the air you pull into your lungs before you sigh
I am there
Remember me in the touch you have longed to feel
in the Rain falling on your skin
In the world we have created so blindly
I am there
Stolen.. I am giving you the best of who i have become
and yet you run relentlessly as if there is nothing left to lose
No time to think about the end
Until then I rest here holding my breath
Not moving a thing..
I dont want to forget this place
From this place I show my light
I eminate in the place of sorrow and despair
Coldest dusk among the horizon
A tiny star...
The only star to guide the way
I bring you here with me until it is time for you to go
Too close you've walked beside me
All is lost when we look outside.
Why love..
One light shall be your home?
Why my sweet
Shall this love be more vast than the ocean..
As i say my goodbye to you?
Ill break the silence and fall away
Ill find my own way home
Who then can know my soul..
When one breath is all I need to know?
I will save myself tonight.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Its all about you!

Can I be your white rose in the rainy night?
Can I be your courage, your reason to fight?
Can I be the riddle you dream to make right?
Will you touch my face..
Gaze apon my lips..
Fall into my eyes
How long can I hold you this time?
How long will you allow yourself to be mine?

I hate rhyming...

You are so beautiful..
You place in me a feeling that hangs around through my dreams..
You make the fear run from Our light
See me for the star I hold before your eyes
I see you for the Moon you place above
There is nothing short of beauty in what I have found
Am i living in a fantasy
Never to cherish for an eternity
Never to fall endlessly..
Only to wonder what it is like
Having to face each day with another voice in our head
Slowly forgetting who is who
Where I begin and you end
We are living on borrowed time
How cliche
But if there were ever a time that so desperately needed to be borrowed..
the time would be now
Living in this marathon of "what happens now"
and Im waisting my time wondering how I could live without you
You spend your time letting your chances fade
Let me take your suffering for a while
Let me be strong this time.. and next time I fall you can help me stand again
"Don't ever give up on me"
No matter how far I run and how good I hide..
I will be waiting for you to catch up and find me
I am depending on your stupidity...
Your strong will..
I will show you what to do before I close my eyes..
I will show you the ways to reach me..
I will teach you the words to speak to being me back
drifting so slowly but going none the less
"Do you need me?"
Fallen angel given a dream
Too close for comfort..
Too far for Faith..
Until there is no longer need..
bound to what is broken
Holding together what is left
Replacing what is lost
Cherishing what has gone unseen for So long
Building what has been torn down time and time again
Giving to what Has never received
Sent to one of her own kind.. Blinded by this world.
Could it be that even god has made a mistake?
A mission to right what has been so brutally wronged
Without our wounds how would we ever learn to mend
Without our sorrow.. How could we ever understand what takes it away?
You'd think we would be left untouched..
Held above all in the glory of His great light
Precious to all.. held by none
Can you even hear me? Do these words blur to you?
Do you ever find it hard to breath
Can you become drunk with the words that you despise
Holding back the tears.. drowning yourself in holding your tonuge
Truth that binds you to your wicked heart
Desperate to wash your mind free
To no longer hide what you have become
To release into the world..
Are you ready to Exist?