Lost.

I’ve lost myself somewhere in the middle of nowhere
I cant find my way out
I have opened doors and now there is too much in the way to close them
I have cleared paths and the brush around it has died.. to never cover up where I have been
I am too late.. never early never on time…
Too late to go back and change.. myself
Or am I?
To you is the distance I must overcome
To find my way back into your heart
To make my way back into your life
To show you everything you have wished to see
What I have held back
What I have ignored
I cant fight you forever..
Either we have to come together or move apart
I cant live with this shame, every time I look into your eyes.. I know!
I cant handle the unknown
Maybe one day you will come back to me
Maybe it is already over
Maybe it never began
Who am I to say.. The only way through this is to fight
The only way I know
To never give up when you love something
To take the pain as it comes..
To use every moment given as its your last
Can you see the end..
You see what you want to see.
I see nothing
I am merely waiting for time to heal you
My words are useless.. For once
My actions are assumingly pre-meditated
What good am I to existance?
If I am living to keep you.. what will happen if I lose you?
If I am struggling to convince you.. what will happen when you no longer hear me?
Tell me what it is you want me to do..
If there is nothing.. how can I comply
If I don’t want to let go, if I promise to not give up.. Will it be an empty promise?
Do You think I am pretending?
Do you think I Want to be without you?
Do you even understand me at all?
I am going to stand through this.
I cant break again
So I am closing down the flood gates
I cant pour out into you any longer
Im afraid of you, but I have been here before
I want you to find me, but I no longer know if you want to lie with me

I want you to hold me.. but I no longer understand what I am to you
I know it was me.. I know I have created shadows in your mind
I know you feel betrayed..
But let me heal your wounds
Allow me to calm your senses
If you wish for me I am yours.. but tell me if you believe in me
If you doubt me, let me go.. there is no need for both of us to hurt any longer
The tears in my eyes could never be enough
Its all too much to hear your voice
To see that pain in your eyes caused by me..
My weakness for love has become my weakness in life
You are all that I want in my life…
I need time to make this right
Out of nowhere is where I found my love for you
Out of nowhere, I seen what you meant to me
I dont want to be without you
I am lost here.
Waiting...