Dont let me see you.

I cant cry out.. I want to scream and close my eyes
Wake up and see this isn’t really my life
If I could take so many little things and sew them up.. cut a piece off here and there
I want to take control of myself
I want to tell myself I no longer need.
I am fighting this insanity like a fire burning beneath me
I am tied up by what is truth..
I am bound by my heart
I am a child walking in the night once again..
Hiding beneath the trees..
Waiting for someone to come find me
Alone in the night.. trying to cry as quietly as I can
I want to be searched for but not found..
I cant even find myself anymore
Sometimes I don’t even know who I am
This soul has naked walls and bare floors..
Moved out on myself.. with a note.. be back .. someday
The lights are working but I prefer to reach around in the dark..
There is nothing left to stumble upon..
Just the echoes of my tears..
The shadows of my years left behind..
The pain never mended.. only tucked away in the corners.
Numbing myself over time..
Medicated and souless?
The pain may fill me by doing what is right..
To let go and walk away
To love but never speak
To remember but never create another memory
No one left to tell me everything will be alright
No one left to answer my calls in the night
It had to end because it was going the wrong way
I had to stop and turn around
Im going to find that stream now..
Im going to find my happiness.. alone
Set me free.. never knowing how to fly
But i do not need to fly to wear i am going
I need only learn which direction i need to go
Just sit here and watch me go
Follow if you will.. but please dont carry me
Watch from the distance.. but please don't let me see you