Monday, October 02, 2006

Breaking.

If you cannot love me then try to break me
If you no longer care then push me down
I have no choice but to love you through the anger
I have no choice but to feel you
We have shared so much
There is so much more ahead
I have wondered so many things
But it all comes back to me loving you
I cant try to walk away
Id leave my heart behind
I cant close my eyes..
Because even there I see you
I wonder why I want to stay
I wonder why you want me to
I wonder where this will go if we both stop trying
I wonder where it could have been already
You wonder if I care, through my tears you do not see
You wonder if I am true. through my words you Will not hear
You are balancing unwaverly on a crossroad..
What do we have to lose?
What is left to break beside our hearts?
Before you go,
I think you ought to know
I cry for you each night
Before i fall asleep with your shirt wrapped in my arms
I think you ought to know
This is not make believe
If i could walk away I would
But i cannot run from you
There is too much left here of me
Inside of you
I have given you nothing that you cannot replace..
But i gave it to you to keep
To know who I am
To know what I feel
And each day I reach into your soul and find more of you
Each day I look onward to the next..
Only hoping That will be the day you finally love me
So take this time...
Find what it is you want.. What you have
Show yourself your heart and listen to it
If i let you go.. will the pieces of your heart come back together?
Am i hurting you by holding on
I dont want to hurt you more than I have
I feel i am failing
That instead of removing the knife from your heart
giving you time to heal
That i am merely twisting it around
I am afraid you will heal me away
Cut your losses and cut our ties
How can I say goodbye.. each time not knowing if it will be the last
How can I walk away knowing you may never come after me
How can I put these things away.. that hold your memory.. Your scent.. Your words
How can i turn this song off.. The one you shared
How can I not hear the message in the words
I need to rest my mind
I need to get through this
I am falling apart from the inside out
Falling all over myself
Feeling too much
Every second outside of you is a desperate reminder of the wrong i have done
How can I let go and just let what will be.. become?
Would you not fight tooth and nail on the way to your executioner?
Would you not beg for your life until your last breath?

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