Here I am.

Long ago.. i listened to this song and found peace..
Lost in an array of love.. Unexplainable to the world
but i tried..
I wrote of this angel.. so pure.. so real..
Sleeping in my presence..
I was so careful not to disturb this precious vision
But in reality.. I am too Real
My pain was unwelcome
My vulnerability had become his demise
He thought that his coming to me would cure all that had gone wrong..
So did I
So throughout our time.. I was weak.. only strengthened by the source of our love for one another
Only poisoned by my craving for him
His noise brought me comfort
His sin brought me pleasure
His entrance showed me the way out
So i throw his Halo down
Go back to where you came from
With my hate I am stepping down from this cloud
Never to look back into the darkness that has become your soul
I dont know you.. I will never know you
Stop haunting my dreams
Stay away from my thoughts
You are a curse from my past
Thrown at my feet..
Trickery was your best friend
"Hold me.. Walk with me.. Im so alone"
Ive seen the evils of your dreams
Ive seen the disaster brought by your wish
Im so glad I have seen you so well
So I push you down off your throne
You dont belong here in my mind
A glorified memory of what could have been
I can put anyone in that seat love
They only have to find their way into my soul
You are nothing compared to what will be
A fraction of what i must have
The hate is slipping deeper into my heart
They said i would come to this place
They told me I would see the truth
and here i am
Bleeding with the Truth running down my mind
I will not be denied this passage
I will find my own way out

On your own!

I wish I could take a moment and write something good.. something that leaves you with a smile instead of a broken heart.. so I will let you know when that is possible.

I dreamt of him last night.. my ex fiance.. it was a sign.. it was a nightmare... but it is what we have become...
His touch was cold, and it only hurt me more to see him that way.. to write me a letter and never mention his love for me. Is that possible.. to love someone so much and never love them again.. like a switch? Have I been loving the wrong way all along?
Is waiting to fall... resisting love... Taking your time.. Not fail safe?
Nope.
So if your taking your time to fall in love with someone.. dont bother.. You cant control what they will become. They may say Your love makes them want to be a better person.. but if they are not willing to Work for anything in life.. Then they just wont ever become that better person.
My affection had become a pacifier to a mommas boy.. A pacifier to men who are lonely but dont want to change their lives for Love...
Wouldnt it be nice to wake up tomorrow and have someone say.. You are my everything.. and I will do everything in my power to make this work.. I am Never giving up on us...
And then Actually do it?
Words are so weak and yet that is all i have to reach who You are.. Yes you.
I used to believe if i Just kept writing... If i just kept Expressing.. The One would find me..
Somehow I still believe this...
You will stumble upon these words.. roll around in my emotions and find your comfort that you have searched for... and not just crave to stay a while.. until feeling becomes too much.. but stay forever.
I looked at my life the other day and realized..
The one thing I want in life is to be in a Truly sincere relationship..
To have the rest of my life to look forward to
To give up nothing and give everything
To No longer search for the eyes I will gaze into for Years
but to merely look over at them
and I realized.. I am incomplete
Living.. striving.. Hoping
I dont believe in luck.. I dont believe what I need will fall into my lap
That is why i havent shut down what is left of me..
Im not broken.. Im just a little shattered..
Still one person.. just in different places
Im not like all the rest..
Id give a fortune to find another who has been abandoned by this world
and Still exists to make it theirs once again
Never giving up.. that is what it all comes down to
Yeah it hurts
Breathing hurts
Loving the wrong ones.. Hurt
Could the wrong one become the right one some day?
Do we think one day We will be enough to change the world
or just that One person out there
Is one person enough
Is one person just part of the road we travel.. then they hand us off to walk for a while alone..
until we stumble upon our next path.. our next attempt at completion?
27 years.. Twenty-Seven years people.. is that not long enough?
Welcome to existance
Welcome to humanity
Welcome to failure.. to living for our own individual dreams
to placing your name in a Jar and wating for your name to be picked
Welcome to finding it in your heart to forgive your creator
Welcome to finding salvation on your own
Point being.. On your Own!

Found myself in your eyes.

To take this life and make it worth one more day
To walk outside the finest line
Light meets Dark, never meant to coincide
Where the sun falls and the moon rises
Always running from the other
Come to gaze at the creation brought from darkness
At the world created from dust and thought
From Dreams and Passion
Come not look away at the lips that breathe for you
Press yourself tightly to my soul
If this is where you long to be
If this is what You long to feel
Let nothing say otherwise
Let this life be yours and the hardship be worth every drop of sweat
Let every pain of dissappointment be lead away with my kiss upon your lips
Let every harsh word be erased by the reaching of my hand
Do you know how to not look back?
Do you want to learn together?
Are you ready to take my hand and jump with me?
Not knowing how far we are to fall..
Does it really matter at all
We will land in a world only for us..
A place where every moment belongs to our future
A place where no one will stand in our way
Baby I know times are changing
And everything will be so new
I cant give my life for a maybe
I cant Love for an instant
If you give me a reason to fight.. I will fight
If you give me the word.. I will jump
If you make a promise.. I will believe
I never wanted to hurt you..
I only wanted to give you something you never knew
I never wanted to confuse you...
I never meant to get so confused
Ive unravelled into your fate
I never meant to fall into your path.. but here I am
You lifted me and held me tightly so id forget where I came from
Now id do anything to stay
So you ask.. am i sure..
And I reply Are you?
We shall find ourselves a resting place
You want me to show you what it means to be the only one
You want to see what I see.. to feel what I have known
You are worth passing a walk in the rain
A thousand nights lost in the cold
Running to you blindly, trusting in your belief in me
What if i fall or what if i break...
Ive let you tear down these walls
Your like the rain i wait to fall
Your like the moon i wait to rise
You watched every piece of my soul fall away
And you caught each one and held it close..
Waiting for the moment to hand them all back to me
Tell me this is the point of no return?
Tell me you will never settle for less than to take my hand
I chose this place
You chose to walk with me here
Do you deserve more than what I am?
Tell me your not letting me go
Tell me there is no turning back now
Tell me we are in this for the right things
That we are making the right choice
That love is just a word
and we Are beyond those words
So we dont believe in soulmates
But our flames are so bright in eachother
We can live apart.. but say You refuse to.
I didnt say hello ever believing i could fall in love with you
I didnt ask to be given a reason to believe in you
You opened your eyes when they have been closed for so long
You answered a call that gave you a destiny you never knew
You asked if I were an angel
and if i were... would you love me the same
Knowing how i fall time and time again
Watching me suffer for reasons unknown
Could you believe its supposed to be that way
Just as blind as you can be..
Just as fragile as you once were..
Even i cannot see the justice in it all
There is one judge love..
One place we are meant to go..
Our path there is our choice
And the road we travel is paved by decisions we make..
One by one..
I refuse to believe im the only one feeling
a little lost in it all
I refuse to feel that im losing you in the end
i have found everything i need in who you are
and found everything i wanted to be in your eyes

My ex ad-libbed my masterpiece...=\

Take the pain and force it down..
Take the doubt and run away
Do it all again..
Over and over until you bleed
Dont pretend you care
When its convenient
Dont walk away from me run biotch while i stand here crying
There was nothing left for me here
You drawed a picture and made me look retarded
Now I cant look away
You created a warmth that felt so good like cheezwiz..
Now I dont want to be cold
On and On
I do it all again
I fall and stub my damn toes all over again
You dont Fade away But you dont shine anymore
Watch me look at you with disgust
I dont deserve to eat cake
I dont want to cry
I am running out of time
I sat back and looked at my life today
I seen the loose ends..
I want to tie them in knots
I want to be free of my needs
Free of my addictions
I dont want to Need
I dont want to crave what you are
If I could just love something else more than I love you
Then i should be ok
I cant let this take me away like calgon
But the voice in my head tells me to run forest
before it kills me
When will i just listen
For once will i fucking do it right
Will i do it all over again
What has caused me to be so lazy
This life is not for me
This dream is only meant for sleep
If you need someone to annoy you
I can no longer be there
I cant be by your side
Where do you expect me to piss as you cry
But its ok, I should make it through
Its gonna smell whether its me or you
smack me.. you cant your far away
beat me.. you cant.. theres nothing left to say
Nothing in common except for doritos...
Just a fire faded away
Wasting another day
your not close enough to see into my anus..
To remind me what homer simpson could be
but your close enough to keep a ham sammich on me

I sang into your ear as you slept
only to tell you im here for you if your sleep breaks
To comfort you.. because i know your life is not easy
You have so much on your mind
and no time to see what you are doing

Not enough.

Breathing...
Missing the whispers in my ear
Eyes closed..
I feel your hand in mine once again
There is a burning in my heart once again.
Open my eyes to nothing
Roll over to emptiness
Fall asleep to thoughts of you
Waking to a silence of your absence.
I close my eyes once again.. trying to convince myself of so many things
I try to feel you next to me
I try to hear the voice i so long to hear
Can you feel me?
Reaching out to you
Can you feel me pushing you away
To become your runaway love
To be chased forever
Never attained
To love so deeply..
To hate so much more
This is not enough

Let me not live.

If this is the time you walk away
If this is your goodbye
If this is the way it has to be
If god has taken you away from me
Let me not live in vain
Let my heart not leave
Take me with you
How can i let go of something that only pulled me close
Its not ok for me to stay if this is not where you are

If this is the time you walk away
So many things left unsaid
too few words worthy of saying them
If this is the final day you breath
Let me give you my lungs instead
I cant live to let you leave

You are the difference between comfort and disease
You are the barrier of my insanity
Nothing will ever be the same

Although you may be sleeping unaware of all things
It feels like You are wide awake and staring at me
Pulling me into you
ive layed myself before you
waiting for you to come back
as i cry myself to sleep

Im waiting to hear he voice i cannot bare
You leave shadows in my mind
a shiver in my soul that frightens me love
What will i do without you?

Did you really think i was just going to let you go?
Did you think i was just going to say my goodbyes?

I dont want to be the reason for your unhappiness
I dont want you to feel you are failing because you love me
I only want to see you smiling
Hold you when you cry
Love you when you need me
Show you what you want to see...
Anything you ask for is yours..
Forever if you ask
For now.. if you cannot stay

Bound.

In the mid-night the fireflies have left all but ashes for us to dance with
I crave the way your eyes lust for me as we dance by the fire of reality and dream
Passionate kisses as we pass in time.. but only lingering for a moment
I have missed you my precious hatred
Allowing me to fall in love with a traveling wind
An apparition in the mist
I reach for you as you fade time and time over
I know I am the sacrifice and You the God standing above me
What more pleasing way to go
Bind me at your will
Tear me down to my knees and look into my eyes
Gently kiss these lips that you adore in moderation
Im down among a million souls
Fighting the tears to hold you
But I am bound.. oblivious to my fate
Join me in insanity...
Touch my porcelain skin and numb my senses
I fear the daylight..
SHall we run from it forever?
As the fire fades away.. what is your decision..
Simplistic desires to fulfill your moment for now?
Snapshots of this place we desire
Black.. into white
Close your eyes and pose for me love

Capture me in your eyes

Beautifukked.

Do things ever really change? Does life ever take a turn for the better?
How long before the aching fades away?
What are the magic words I need to say?
Feeling so lost and yet I have no care in the world for where I have ended up
He is not here with me...
What does it really matter...
Im so fucking needy
I cannot stand the fact that I live to be loved
I love to feel alive
I have died to become what? This shell of a person I once was
This beautiful person once so very much in love.. People hated her
This person who was Envied
Now a Shadow of someone Long gone and cast away
Cast away.. That is what I have become
The one he is ashamed of loving..
The one he will No longer divulge in the idea of
The one who had stolen his heart and soul.. and he dare press charges for theft
Cast away into the darkness which remains inside his soul
Cast away into the world, never to be found again
He isnt searching for me
He isnt searching for anyone
He has given up on himself
And in turn... well you know
Its just another day.. you have made each day A joke
I cant wait until this is over..
Till I can lie down and say goodbye
Till I can fall asleep and never have to remember you again
If you had a problem with me, Well Its your problem now
I fought you to the floor
I begged you to not hurt me anymore
Im making you aware.. of the things You dont want to know
Whether you like it or not.. Why should i face this alone
Why should I care that this hurts You too?
Why should I care that this was the hardest thing you have ever done?
Why should I believe anything you say??

All i need to know.

Sickened as a whisper in the wind...
This voice with no touch
These eyes with no sight
Like a poison You writhe into my veins
Careless of which direction you take
Foolish of my heart and yours
Tear away from me..
Words roll off my tongue like a despiteful kiss
Waiting to be heard.. really heard
Not just gazed upon
admired
adored
Acquired?!
Let me distract you as you defend your way through this life
Let me numb the anguish you must prevail
I told you I never want to feel like this again
Why wont you just go away?
You gave the rain its ending..
I just want to bring it back
I will fall and know where to go..
In the darkness i remain
The tears of hope have been my only consolation
The only ones left I still fight
So alive within..
While dying in this place
I found the ground and here I shall remain
Remember me in that smile you rarely find
in the breaze gently passing your face
In the air you pull into your lungs before you sigh
I am there
Remember me in the touch you have longed to feel
in the Rain falling on your skin
In the world we have created so blindly
I am there
Stolen.. I am giving you the best of who i have become
and yet you run relentlessly as if there is nothing left to lose
No time to think about the end
Until then I rest here holding my breath
Not moving a thing..
I dont want to forget this place
From this place I show my light
I eminate in the place of sorrow and despair
Coldest dusk among the horizon
A tiny star...
The only star to guide the way
I bring you here with me until it is time for you to go
Too close you've walked beside me
All is lost when we look outside.
Why love..
One light shall be your home?
Why my sweet
Shall this love be more vast than the ocean..
As i say my goodbye to you?
Ill break the silence and fall away
Ill find my own way home
Who then can know my soul..
When one breath is all I need to know?
I will save myself tonight.

Its all about you!

Can I be your white rose in the rainy night?
Can I be your courage, your reason to fight?
Can I be the riddle you dream to make right?
Will you touch my face..
Gaze apon my lips..
Fall into my eyes
How long can I hold you this time?
How long will you allow yourself to be mine?

I hate rhyming...

You are so beautiful..
You place in me a feeling that hangs around through my dreams..
You make the fear run from Our light
See me for the star I hold before your eyes
I see you for the Moon you place above
There is nothing short of beauty in what I have found
Am i living in a fantasy
Never to cherish for an eternity
Never to fall endlessly..
Apart..
Only to wonder what it is like
Having to face each day with another voice in our head
Slowly forgetting who is who
Where I begin and you end
We are living on borrowed time
How cliche
But if there were ever a time that so desperately needed to be borrowed..
the time would be now
Living in this marathon of "what happens now"
and Im waisting my time wondering how I could live without you
You spend your time letting your chances fade
Let me take your suffering for a while
Let me be strong this time.. and next time I fall you can help me stand again
"Don't ever give up on me"
No matter how far I run and how good I hide..
I will be waiting for you to catch up and find me
I am depending on your stupidity...
Your strong will..
I will show you what to do before I close my eyes..
I will show you the ways to reach me..
I will teach you the words to speak to being me back
drifting so slowly but going none the less
"Do you need me?"
Fallen angel given a dream
Too close for comfort..
Too far for Faith..
Until there is no longer need..
bound to what is broken
Holding together what is left
Replacing what is lost
Cherishing what has gone unseen for So long
Building what has been torn down time and time again
Giving to what Has never received
Sent to one of her own kind.. Blinded by this world.
Could it be that even god has made a mistake?
A mission to right what has been so brutally wronged
Without our wounds how would we ever learn to mend
Without our sorrow.. How could we ever understand what takes it away?
You'd think we would be left untouched..
Held above all in the glory of His great light
Precious to all.. held by none
Can you even hear me? Do these words blur to you?
Do you ever find it hard to breath
Can you become drunk with the words that you despise
Holding back the tears.. drowning yourself in holding your tonuge
Truth that binds you to your wicked heart
Desperate to wash your mind free
To no longer hide what you have become
To release into the world..
You?
Are you ready to Exist?

Loving a truth..

The whole world has dissappeared..
Waking with this smile...
its been a long time
but its ok once in awhile
So overly witty as i stumble over my soft words
Barely with sight i imagine your kiss staying on my lips
Your getting in my way with your surprises
I wasnt expecting to need something so soon
I made rules and you helped me break them
I drew a line and you turned it into a circle.. pulled me inside
So i stand on the outer edge.. while you dance in the center..
I watch the outside world linger outside this place
No one's allowed inside
Your watching me..
Guarding me..
You have me where you want me and Still i tremble in fear of You
I have been here before
You cannot speak..
I have heard these words too many times
You cannot convince me with your touch..
I have felt this touch once before
I have known.. and forgotten this place
Oh this is going to burn
Do we have to do this again?
Do i have to see you?
You have stood on the outside so long.. speaking to me from the distance
With patience you watched me fall apart..
With anger you pushed the pieces back into my reach
Im not so much amazed at how i need you now..
Im amazed at how you have come to need me..
This fragile soul..
What have I shown you that you could not see?
What have I given you that You have never received?
Who have I been that you have never known?
You say you dont want to hear me.. then you stop and listen to the silence
Didnt you want to see.. everything you could be
Now you look away
Afraid to know the day
Wondering about the things you have needed for so long
Coming into a world you have only imagined could exist
Wishing you were never brought into this place
Living a Lie..
Loving a truth..

Lyrics by anna nalick

"Forever Love (Dígame)"

On the ground
With my world
Upside down
I got a vision of your face
And I must get me out
For so many memories we've yet to make

God don't send to me your angels
I just wanna hear you say again

Forever love
Say you'll love
Dígame, Dígame
Tell me so
I can hold you in my soul
If I go
I'll know

When you smile
With those eyes
Baby it's like
You place a finger on my heart
And your lips next to mine
Make me think
that maybe heavens where you are

God don't send to me your angels
I just wanna hear you say again
Forever love
Say you'll love
Dígame, Dígame
Tell me so
I can hold you in my soul
And if I go
I'll know

-Anna Nalick

Lies speak such beauty!

I say I no longer feel.. I no longer love.. I no longer miss you…
I have taught myself to deceive myself in all ways
Because I do not want to love.. You
Because I do not want to miss you.
I just want to erase what we were. I want to erase everything we had been.
I want to take away the day we met and undo everything that had become..
I want to untangle the web we created and run from the love you gave me
I should have ran and never looked back.. Had I ran then.. It would not have hurt so badly
Now I cannot even feel the pain anymore.
I have become numb to all things around me..
And yet I have learned to love things I should not love.
You took away the purity I once believed in.. Now I just don’t care anymore
You took away the faith I had in forever.. Now I am content to live in the day
What was once so pure and strong has now become weak and careless..
I just don’t care..
Take me away to the fiery pits of hell
If loving myself and loving others is not enough
If giving all that I am to those that reach out for me is not enough
If reaching out to the blind and giving them something to believe in is not enough
I Can’t give what I am not
I cannot be anything more
If loving a man so much that you will let him enter your body and create a union nothing can come closer to.. is a sin.. So be it
If making love is denying ones faith.. So be it
If trying to love another more than what we once had is wrong…
If pulling him into my arms while I push you out of my mind is wrong…
If running my hand down his chest.. allowing the sensation to rush through our bodies is wrong…Bring me death
To live without is far worse than being in death without
My heart is pure.. My soul is dirty..
It craves what I am told to reject
Why have I been created this way?
Should I even wonder at all?
Does spending a lifetime rejecting what you want so badly make you feel alive?
Are you living at all.. When you no longer feel alive outside of these arms?
You are so weak.. We could have been “the ones”
Everyone wants to be loved..
Sometimes so much that they will deny all else until they have it
But you… You had a love that all others would die for and you walk away?
You possessed a heart so passionate to please you for eternity..
You had a woman that wanted nothing more than to simply die in your arms..
And you leave her to die… alone
I would have given 1000 nights of nothingness to live in the everything that we were.
You have forsaken me…
And you expect me to feel…what is it you want me to be able to feel now?
You took this wounded heart and built a world around it.. A fortress.. meant to protect me from all else..
But it could not protect me from you
I hate you…for making me love you
I hate you for showing me what I can not have
I hate you for giving me a dream and making me wake up
The man you have become.. trying to hide yourself in your bible
Trying to pretend you are doing the right thing
Trying to tell yourself… what you are doing is righteous and pure
The damage is done
The words spoken..
The blood has been spilt in your name
Honor this love.. Honor this now..
Tears have been shed for your “commitment”
You have made me the great sacrifice for your soul
When you could have walked away..
Your selfishness
Your naivety
Your own desires that became you..
Only one hurts now.. because of YOU
You say you tried to save me.. but now all is lost
You pushed me further from the world than I have ever been.. and I fear I am spinning out of control..
It’s ok.. it is.. I don’t care
I want to spin..
I want to find my truth.. My truth
I will find my Faith.. My faith
Inside of me..
Not inside some book
Not inside the walls of a building
Not at an altar
But inside of me..
If I don’t have faith in myself.. who will?
Knowledge is power.
Ignorance is bliss.
Do you see?? Your happy ignoring how you feel.. not knowing what I am feeling..
But is it right?
Never knowing how you tore another person down.. Will you ever grow if you ignore what you have done?
Run from me love.. Run far.. you may not want to know.. But I’ll be damned if the rest of the world doesn’t.
Seems poetic doesn’t it.. Such beauty in the darkness..
Many will read these words.. Some will feel.. But only one has lived it
“I love you as much as I love Jesus Christ.. and the day I stop loving him is the day I will stop loving you”
Oh you had a way of making me believe didn’t you?
A way with words.. Given my trust in your faith that you would never betray what I have given to you.. Never forsake our bond..
Lies speak such beauty…
Don’t they?

Mind is poison..heart is the remedy!!

Lying awake I discover the truth behind my dreams..
Im shaking again, am I falling fast
When i am afraid I fear for you.. for your love.. for what you will become without me
In my mind.. i hear your words.. in my heart i feel what they mean..
Being silenced by my emotions.. i fear what i myself have become
You have stolen my darkness.. can i borrow it for some time?
Sinning in bliss.. my god what road am i traveling
Dreaming of passion.. waking up to nothing.. to no one
Too consumed in keeping you alive
Have i given my life for yours
This is the path chosen for me
It is ok love, I have no where else to go...
I promise you the pain will not kill you
You fear the unknown.. well know this well..
In the end.. do not wish for death.. wish for new life..


"What are you? "
His words spoken that i have heard within myself for all eternity
His words spoken that i have never imagined i would hear
I dont know.. I cannot know.. it is not allowed
Would i be efficient if i was aware?
Would i make the same choices if i could see where they will take me?
Would i be the same had i not failed miserably?
Failure has become my success
Failure has broken me and sent me back into the fire with a strength i had not possessed...
She has taken my little hand and slapped it until it bleeds
Everything i touch recieves the mark of my blood.. the essence that keeps me alive...
Touched..forever...
blood, never to wash away

Is someone missing me?
Am i too much to fight for..
no
If you will not fight, you have no worth by my side
If i had fought years to become who.. what i have become..
Why should you possess me with such ease?
There is no passion in recieving what is given..
But there will be in taking what is fought for
I wont fall easily
I will run..
I have been given a gift to love many.. a curse to hold none
Have i fought in turn for those i have fallen for?
Did I not give up on those who cried for me?
I give so much and take so little..
I love so hard and am loved with leisure
My hand always reaches.. while his decides with too much thought
His words are chosen with care.. while my heart carelessly speaks.
Mind is poison.. heart is the remedy

As the great Queen Elizabeth once spoke with her own lips..
altered for myself..
"I am No mans Catherine."

Soon.

STolen my words I cannot speak..
You are the pain inside of me..
All the thoughts I have left unsaid
Im dying to further fall
You'll never catch me sleeping..
Im lying outside your heart
waiting for you to join me..
waiting for myself to breathe
Dont allow me to be your beautiful mistake
Dont write the words if you cannot speak
Im not going anywhere...
I'll be your impossible
I'll heal to show you who i used to be
I'll dream just to show you where i'd like to be
I can see it in your eyes when I cry
Your waiting for me to return
Ill be there soon.

You are the Goddess Artemis!

Brave, and a natural born leader.You're willing to fight for what you believe in...And willing to make tough decisions.Don't forget - the people around you have ideas too!

The daughter of Leto and Zeus, and the twin of Apollo. Artemis is the goddess of the wilderness, the hunt and wild animals, and fertility (she became a goddess of fertility and childbirth mainly in cities). She was often depicted with the crescent of the moon above her forehead and was sometimes identified with Selene (goddess of the moon). Artemis was one of the Olympians and a virgin goddess. She is one of only three who are immune to the enchantments of Aphrodite... the other two are Hestia and Athene (Athena). Her main vocation was to roam mountain forests and uncultivated land with her nymphs in attendance hunting for lions, panthers, hinds and stags. Contradictory to the later, she helped in protecting and seeing to their well-being, also their safety and reproduction. She was armed with a bow and arrows which were made by Hephaestus and the Cyclopes.
In one legend, Artemis was born one day before her brother Apollo. Her mother gave birth to her on the island of Ortygia, then, almost immediately after her birth, she helped her mother to cross the straits over to Delos, where she then delivered Apollo. This was the beginning of her role as guardian of young children and patron of women in childbirth. Being a goddess of contradictions, she was the protectress of women in labor, but it was said that the arrows of Artemis brought them sudden death while giving birth. As was her brother, Apollo, Artemis was a divinity of healing, but also brought and spread diseases such as leprosy, rabies and even gout.
Being associated with chastity, Artemis at an early age (in one legend she was three years old) asked her father, the great god Zeus, to grant her eternal virginity. Also, all her companions were virgins. Artemis was very protective of her purity, and gave grave punishment to any man who attempted to dishonor her in any form. Actaeon, while out hunting, accidentally came upon Artemis and her nymphs, who bathing naked in a secluded pool. Seeing them in all their naked beauty, the stunned Actaeon stopped and gazed at them, but when Artemis saw him ogling them, she transformed him into a stag. Then, incensed with disgust, she set his own hounds upon him. They chased and killed what they thought was another stag, but it was their master. As with Orion, a giant and a great hunter, there are several legends which tell of his death, one involving Artemis. It is said that he tried to rape the virgin goddess, so killed him with her bow and arrows. Another says she conjured up a scorpion which killed Orion and his dog. Orion became a constellation in the night sky, and his dog became Sirius, the dog star. Yet another version says it was the scorpion which stung him and was transformed into the constellation with Orion, the later being Scorpio. Artemis was enraged when one of her nymphs, Callisto, allowed Zeus to seduce her, but the great god approached her in one of his guises; he came in the form of Artemis. The young nymph was unwittingly tricked, and she gave birth to Arcas, the ancestor of the Arcadians, but Artemis showed no mercy and changed her into a bear. She then shot and killed her. As Orion, she was sent up to the heavens, and became the constellation of the Great Bear (which is also known as the Plough).
Artemis was very possessive. She would show her wrath on anyone who disobeyed her wishes, especially against her sacred animals. Even the great hero Agamemnon came upon the wrath of Artemis, when he killed a stag in her sacred grove. His punishment came when his ships were becalmed, while he made his way to besiege Troy. With no winds to sail his ships he was told by the seer Calchas that the only way Artemis would bring back the winds was for him to sacrifice his daughter Iphigenia. Some versions say he did sacrifice Iphigenia, others that Artemis exchanged a deer in her place, and took Iphigenia to the land of the Tauri (the Crimea) as a priestess, to prepare strangers for sacrifice to Artemis.
Artemis with her twin brother, Apollo, put to death the children of Niobe. The reason being that Niobe, a mere mortal, had boasted to Leto, the mother of the divine twins, that she had bore more children, which must make her superior to Leto. Apollo being outraged at such an insult on his mother, informed Artemis. The twin gods hunted them down and shot them with their bows and arrows; Apollo killed the male children and Artemis the girls.
Artemis was worshiped in most Greek cities but only as a secondary deity. However, to the Greeks in Asia Minor (modern day Turkey) she was a prominent deity. In Ephesus, a principal city of Asia Minor, a great temple was built in her honor, which became one of the "Seven Wonders of the Ancient World". But at Ephesus she was worshiped mainly as a fertility goddess, and was identified with Cybele the mother goddess of eastern lands. The cult statues of the Ephesian Artemis differ greatly from those of mainland Greece, whereas she is depicted as a huntress with her bow and arrows. Those found at Ephesus show her in the eastern style, standing erect with numerous nodes on her chest. There have been many theories as to what they represent. Some say they are breasts, others that they are bulls testes which were sacrificed to her. Which is the true interpretation remains uncertain, but each represent fertility.
There were festivals in honor of Artemis, such as the Brauronia, which was held in Brauron; and the festival of Artemis Orthia, held at Sparta, when young Spartan boys would try to steal cheeses from the altar. As they tried they would be whipped, the meaning of Orthia and the nature of the ritual whipping has been lost and there is no logical explanation or translation. Among the epithets given to Artemis are: Potnia Theron (mistress of wild animals) this title was mentioned by the great poet Homer; Kourotrophos (nurse of youth's); Locheia (helper in childbirth); Agrotera (huntress); and Cynthia (taken from her birthplace on Mount Cynthus on Delos). When young girls reached puberty they were initiated into her cult, but when they decided to marry, which Artemis was not against, they were asked to lay in front of the altar all the paraphernalia of their virginity, toys, dolls and locks of their hair, they then left the domain of the virgin goddess.

Will you follow?

How do you dance in words?
React to the music running through your veins...
Breathe in the vibrations
Set your soul free... release yourself into the night
Be weary of the morning light
Heart.. pounding..
Close my eyes.. all i see is him...
Furious.. fire.. burns in his eyes..
Intensity reigning throughout his body..
Possessed by his presence..
Poisoned by his very existance..
What man could see as I see..
Feel as I feel
Dance.. as I dance.
No movements of the physical form.. but to close ones eyes and fly...
No touching.. only fusion of two beings through the mind
Can I tangle you in my dance
Make it hard for you to stop
Give you an addiction.. with no cure
Gently rest your hands on my hips
Testing the passion as I wrap my body around yours
Pulling you into me with my eyes
Entrancing...
Do you want me to take you inside?
Do you want to feel where this passion hides in the daylight?
You pull me tight.. your breath heavy on my neck
Sweat running between our bodies
I rest my lips on your shoulder..
Tasting you
Wanting you
My heart quickens..you can feel it against you
I can't get close enough..
I wrap my arms around your neck..
pulling you close as the music runs through our bodies
Your hands around my back.. my hand grasping your hair
Locked in eachothers eyes.. never to look away
We dance in the moonlight..
Careless of what the day will bring
Mesmerized.. I cannot believe where I am
Where we have taken one another
The music ends.. but the dance has only just begun
How did we get here?
With one last glance i take your hand.. look into your eyes and smile
Releasing.. one finger at a time.. as our hands slide apart
I walk away..
Will you follow?

Everyone goes away in the end...

i will make you hurt.

Nobody stays forever.. and if they do they are not happy.
They feel obligated to stay to not hurt you
They feel it is their responsibility to make Your life right.
Or they become the thing that made your life wrong.

Those strong enough to walk away and Hurt someone...
My hat goes off to you.
You are Strong among men
You are the wolf among the sheep
The thorn on the rose...
You are pain. You are Life.
You make us bleed.
You let us feel every breath... because we despise the fact we still do
You make us count each day after you... because we would rather not notice the time flying by
Stand in the rain... make me watch you
Stand there and ignore me
Walk away from me... you know its only a matter of time..
Why wait..
Why stay..
Why make me watch my life pass me by...
When I could be holding it by the hand and running free..
What pleasure do you get from capturing me?
Dont give me a reason to make time stand still..
unless you want to die with me.
Do you want whats left of me?
Do you want to rebuild this foundation..
To make whole what has become so crumbled and frail?
Do you want to dance in the shadows ..With me?
or would you rather stand back and watch me fall apart alone?
Do you want to shine your light into my darkness?
I can shine alone...
I can love myself...
I can make my dreams come to pass...
Why do you want to make me need you?
What do I bring to you that you cannot live without?
Tell me.. why am I "the one"
Who will take my place?
Cause you know someone will
Who will give their life for you... after you leave me to die?
What arms will reach for you, when I no longer have the strength?
Who will be left to remove your doubt.. when you can no longer trust in yourself?
Don't take pity on me.. but envy I still Live.
Envy I have life and hope and I still dream...
Shattered.. they Exist.
I EXIST
I cannot live without myself...
So please dont take away who I am

Blindness

Excerpt from Thrusday June 5th 2003

I guess there is a down side to trying to look up in life...
You never see the worse coming.
You give someone the benefit of the doubt..
you ignore their past,
a past that they have yet to walk away from,
you look forward with them,
then next thing you know you turn around and their gone.

I know we all die alone in the end,
thats just the way things are.
Does it really matter what we have here on earth?
Would a mortal know if they had a fallen angel in their life?
I have come to find that no matter how hard I try or how real I am,
it is not enough....I am simply not enough.

My words are mute in the echoed halls of ones past.
My feelings are expendable and my tears...
just another sad collection into the ocean of all the tears lost in vein.
I had my chance...now it is gone.

My doorway to happiness opened right before me...
I got to taste it...to touch it...to know it.
Can't they see...nothing just comes to you.
You have to make sacrifices..
you have to know when the passage in fate has opened her arms to you.
Why was I so blind.

Jesus hung up on Sam!!

Thee goddess23: JESUS JUST CALLED SAM
keado1586: lol
Thee goddess23: ...and hung up on him

Samurai!! so i gotta stop saying what if
Samurai!!: and just starting believing
Thee_Goddess: yes and just believe it
Samurai!!: man i really dig this spirtual stuff.
Thee_Goddess: keado1586: tell him don't believe. start knowing..
Samurai!!: so we can only control what is inside us
Samurai!!: nothing that surronds us ?
Samurai!!: 1 800 390 1886.
Samurai!!: why could jesus not love ?
Samurai!: ....
Samurai!!: i just tried to call jesus.
Thee_Goddess: i was afk
Samurai!!: you know my voice reconition ?
Samurai!!: i hit it and said jesus .
Thee_Goddess: LOL why did you do that
Samurai!!: i have no idea
Samurai!!: i guess i was thinking of jesus
Samurai!!: then i realized it when my second beep went off
Samurai!!: said it could not reconize voice command
Samurai!!: would of been creepy if someone picked up
Samurai!!: omg
Samurai!!: wtf
Samurai!!: i just got an unknown call
Samurai!!: who ever it was just hung up on me though.
Thee_Goddess: HAHAAH jesus just called you
Thee_Goddess: And hung up on your ass
Thee_Goddess: I so need to blog this

Samurai!!: ok this is wierd
Samurai!!: someones fucking with me
Samurai!!: cuz my room phone just rang too
Samurai!!: and no one picked up


Yeah this is some funny shit!!