Mind is poison..heart is the remedy!!

Lying awake I discover the truth behind my dreams..
Im shaking again, am I falling fast
When i am afraid I fear for you.. for your love.. for what you will become without me
In my mind.. i hear your words.. in my heart i feel what they mean..
Being silenced by my emotions.. i fear what i myself have become
You have stolen my darkness.. can i borrow it for some time?
Sinning in bliss.. my god what road am i traveling
Dreaming of passion.. waking up to nothing.. to no one
Too consumed in keeping you alive
Have i given my life for yours
This is the path chosen for me
It is ok love, I have no where else to go...
I promise you the pain will not kill you
You fear the unknown.. well know this well..
In the end.. do not wish for death.. wish for new life..


"What are you? "
His words spoken that i have heard within myself for all eternity
His words spoken that i have never imagined i would hear
I dont know.. I cannot know.. it is not allowed
Would i be efficient if i was aware?
Would i make the same choices if i could see where they will take me?
Would i be the same had i not failed miserably?
Failure has become my success
Failure has broken me and sent me back into the fire with a strength i had not possessed...
She has taken my little hand and slapped it until it bleeds
Everything i touch recieves the mark of my blood.. the essence that keeps me alive...
Touched..forever...
blood, never to wash away

Is someone missing me?
Am i too much to fight for..
no
If you will not fight, you have no worth by my side
If i had fought years to become who.. what i have become..
Why should you possess me with such ease?
There is no passion in recieving what is given..
But there will be in taking what is fought for
I wont fall easily
I will run..
I have been given a gift to love many.. a curse to hold none
Have i fought in turn for those i have fallen for?
Did I not give up on those who cried for me?
I give so much and take so little..
I love so hard and am loved with leisure
My hand always reaches.. while his decides with too much thought
His words are chosen with care.. while my heart carelessly speaks.
Mind is poison.. heart is the remedy

As the great Queen Elizabeth once spoke with her own lips..
altered for myself..
"I am No mans Catherine."