Nourish.

I have memorized each reply
I know every look in your eye
I do not have anything left to say
Neither did you as I walked away

I remember every touch i have felt
When you placed your hand
over mine on your belt
and told me no

I remember ever word you have said
when i wanted to stay
and left instead..
You let me go

Im leaving my heart wide open
But im not stepping outside anymore
Im leaving the key under the mat
If you ever stumble apon my door

I could go on about the things i will miss
but i have spent too much time
Too much time left pondering over this

I could write a thousand words in my pain
But knowing you will never see them
my heart will never be the same

Im afraid to love you anymore
Im afraid to let go
Im afraid to stay
Im afraid to be the one
that pushes YOU away

I dont know what else i can say
Your a different person day by day
Once you hold my hand and kiss it
Once you grab it and push it away

I know its not me
Ive given all i can
If only you could see
If only your heart
would finally understand

You can live without me
You have told me yourself
But is that what you say to the one you love
Who faithfully dreams of No one else

You can stand a day apart
You care not to speak
of matters in your heart

Im too tired to call out to you again
Im too lost to feel the same
Waking to feel you there but gone
Waking to find it still feels wrong

All this time spent making you smile
All these words vanishing only while
You sit thinking of everything but me
I sit dreading setting you free

You tell me you want this
or you wouldnt even say
But how can you pick and choose
when you want to make me go away?

We agree we knew we werent the same
But when you truly love someone
There is always room for change
A chance a truth to set yourself free
Within eachother
In loving you, in loving me

You are my greatest battle love.
Each day I lose faith in what else i can say

"Its not that hard to hold my hand"
"Is it really that nessecary?"

Does the earth not need rain to thrive?
Does a child not need a hug to feel good inside?
Does a flower not need sun to breath and flourish?
Does an infant not need food
Have you ever heard of Nourish?

Feed, provide, Nurture, Sustain..
Your touch is not different from the rain
Love is not different.. its just the same

Leave it lonely
Leave it to die
and leave my heart broken
If i am only left to cry

When will you get it
This is not just me
It is simply a feeling no longer
Growing inside of me.