Where did it go wrong...

Up until the moment I walked into the room monday morning, everything was so beautiful and right...

On our way to missouri, chris surprised me with a wonderful easter card...by reading it and what he wrote, i was clueless he was about to leave me...

"As long as I live, Ill always be there to do anything for you, or go anywhere.
As long as forever, my love will be true-
And as long s I live, Ill love only you!
Happy Easter

(May god shine upon you baby with many blessings this easter holiday. I love you so much and i am totally glad I am spending this blessed holiday with my true soulmate! Thats love lovi and thats you sweetheart.
True passion comes from within, that is how a man or woman is defined!
Always k? Christy)"

What did i do so wrong in missouri? What stole away this happiness i once gave him?

I remember we were at "the castle" and i walked off with my son. A few minutes later Chris came looking for me, I said "Id hoped you'd come" he replied "Ill always come looking for you" Thats when i told him "Thats one of the things i love so much about you baby" and i stopped to put my arms around him and kiss him =)

I feel that I loved him as much as i possibly could. I feel that i took every moment and cherished it... I have so many beautiful memories that he and i made together... so many precious words we have spoken to one another... so much life created when we were together...

I would do it all over again, but i would change a few things...

I would have been stronger and asked him to wait until the divorce was final.
I would have gotten emotional medical help and started my recovery a long time ago had i known he wouldnt lose respect for me being on medication. I thought he would see me as a weak person and i didnt want to lose him. Instead, not seeking help pushed him away =
I would have quit that stupid life sucking game the minute he walked in the door, and held his hand every minute he was in my presence...
I would have went for long walks, taken him out to spend time with my family (even if they embarrased me at times, but hey thats family)

I would have turned on every song we ever shared and danced in his arms every single night before bed...

I would have watched alias with him and learned how to rollerblade just so he could help me up when i fall..hehe

I would have sat and cuddled with him rubbing his hair while he watched star trek...

Id have secretly learned to play chess...just so i could surprise him when he asked me to play...

I would have stayed up as long as i had to that night i put in pigtails for him, just so we could play around like the tards we were...

Id have bought a watch and set it to 422 just so i could pounce on him for our kisses AS soon as 423 hit... nothing should have been more important

and i see this all too late.

I promised to love him like he has never been loved before, and i failed.

I would have sang to him the song i promised to sing to him on our wedding day "From this moment on"

I would have married this man blindly at the altar... and through everything, I honestly still would. I dont care what the world thinks, I know that those that care about us, hope to see us back together once again... being "That couple" yeah... That Couple!