...never let go

Christopher walked out on me today...
The shock is gone and the pain has set in. I am dying.
He tore my heart in little pieces and let them lay there on the floor as I begged him to stay. I pleaded for him to stay that Id make myself better Id do anything for him to stay...he denied me. He looked away and said he wishes I understood. His cousin said to me, just let him go, and I replied "Would you let him go?" she didnt reply...

I am so scared and helpless, my world just left me. I told myself I didnt want to answer his calls, then it scared me that he wasnt calling at all... so I broke down and called him, only to have my pleas denied once again.

Why have I become so easy to walk away from?
How could he just say he made a mistake?

Baby, I love you more than this breath I am dreadfully breathing right now. No one could ever understand our love. No one will ever know the sacrifices we have made for eachother... but now I am the one being sacrificed. He said he didnt know if there was someone out there better for him when I asked if he thought there was. In fact, the only thing he said to most of my questioning and pleas is just that... "I dont know"

I need him so bad god... GOD PLEASE bring him back to me, I double my promises to never forsake this man. I swore I would give my life for this man, but is this what has become? Am I to give myself internal death for his happiness..God why was I not enough. Please answer me this time, I have spent over a year opening my life to you, allowing you to mold me and become what you want of your children,,,, what lesson am i to learn from this? Can you hear me? Bring him back to me... please please please......

"I turned the world upside down just to be with you"

I had to leave a message because he wont answer my calls anymore...

Im not afraid of dying, but i am afraid of losing you... your the only reason im trying...everything is clear to me, till i hit reality and i lose it all...i lose itall....

I have lost it all...

I thought he loved me enough to get through this. I thought being together was enough, and at times I didnt believe was enough and he stopped me and made me see... it was. I want to be there with him so badly, I want to be in his arms rght now, I dont want these tears to burn through my eyes anymore... Baby...

come back to me.

I never looked away from you.... or our love, I never planned for anything other than to love you and only you for the rest of our lives...
I pictured our future over and over again, and i was scared, but you were by my side. I can't go on without you my love. I refuse to live until I am living with you. Don't let this be the end of what we were meant to become...You know god gave us free will...and yet you know he inspired our love... He will forgive us baby. He will. I know this.