Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Cant put this away...

Whenever i have an emotion, i feel this burning throughout my body... (thanks lexapro)
I thought it would take away the pain of losing my soulmate...
but i return to sitting here.. wondering...waiting.. if he will miss me soon.
They say time will take away the pain... I also heard a person can go crazy dealing with it..
Which path do I choose?
Do i let myself win? Do I let myself lose?
I have nothing left to lose... he took everything with him when he walked out the door.
How could i ever move on?
How can I ever look into another mans eyes and not see his?
How can I ever hear "I love you" and not hear chris speaking to me
Everything reminds me of him... everything
I have dreamt of him every night i have been able to sleep.
Talking to him hurts, because he doesnt say he loves me anymore...
I put away the things that remind me of him.. but there are so many things i cant put away...
I cant put away the bed we once shared
I cant put away the road i used to daydream about him on while im driving
I cant put away the music he and i so romantically shared, danced to, proposed to
I cant put away the words that dance in my mind
I cant put away the water he used to drink and swish
I cant put away the breath from my lips that whispers "i love you baby"
I cant put away the beating in my chest that pounds so deeply for his love
I cant put away my eyes that search for him... everywhere i go
I cant put away my son he used to carry around so lovingly
I cant put away the homework he used to do with my daughter after school
I cant put away the gentle comfort from my children when i cry...telling me "Its ok mommy, he will come back cause he loves you"
I cant put away the empty seat at church i gaze upon where he and i used to sit holding hands.
I cant' put away my finger, where his promise of love and commitment once rounded
I cant put away the sky i used to gaze upon and thank god for my fiance
I cant put away the forever he promised to be by my side...

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