Sunday, May 01, 2005

Could I have been wrong?

Quoted from myself

"Throughout my life, I have always been able to stand up, dust myself off and move on....always believing the love I need is out there and never giving up hope. This time is different. I haven't the strength to stand from this fall. I havent the will to go anywhere other than into his arms. It is simply no longer my choice. Loving another is not an option. It just isnt possible."

I was shot down, left to die, 2 years ago almost to the fact about right now is when I discovered "him"

I used to fly through life in a whirlwind, touching peoples lives and flying off with no despair or I was. Once in my life I took this man with me...i flew with him, I took him by the hand, I offered him a permanent position by my side...oh my god, I cannot help but feel a bit funny right now. *Sigh*

How can one write with happiness inside of them? This is so new to me and I almost feel like laughing out loud right now. This IS sad. I am trying to work around this Light in my life and still be an effective writer and yet I am smiling and my soul is fighting my mood music...have I been shielded from the pain again?

....after I took my fall, I was unable to fly any soul had become so heavy with this darkness, I was merely able to hug closely to the ground with a shaky stability as I made my way onward in life.

I have had so many enter into my life and lift me by the arms, helping to pull me onward as I refused to stand.

I am so used to lingering in the shadows that being in this new light makes me feel so vulnerable!

So visable...and yet..who is watching anyhow?

I have realized how blind I am to people around me and yet I thought I was very aware.

(*sigh* Everytime I write the word I it rips at my soul...)

I have counted the days that have passed me by since something amazing happened to me...
something that opened my eyes and my soul recently and I have been silenced with happiness.

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