Maybe tomorrow I will find my way home. Maybe tomorrow I will have a home to come home to. Maybe tomorrow My fiance will be standing here waiting for me... running to the door when he hears my car return..
Maybe then I will no longer cry. Maybe then I will no longer die in my loneliness. Maybe then I can breathe.
If only I could close my eyes until he returns, then would I be dreaming of his eyes so peacefully. Instead this ache this pain makes me hate every mile between us. So much anger, so much happiness. My concept of time is non- existant. Only that I live now and i hurt NOW. Knowing the future no longer takes that away. Is it so twisted to push away the one thing that makes you happy? Is it fucked up to not want to smile, to not want to laugh? Should I fall tonight, who would be here to pick me up? Should i lye in my bed dying, who will be here to kiss my head as I go? Should I cry, who will kiss away the tears?
No one is coming to my rescue tonight. No one will hear me cry. No one will see me fall. No one will reach for my hand. Fuck this.
I cannot BE.. until your resting here with me!
Besides... if I were to smile tonight... who would be here to care.. who would be here to smile back?