There is nothing left of you...

December 11th 2005

There is nothing left of you…

I hear you
Calling out for me tonight
I am so interrupted
Don’t know which way I am going
Can’t remember where I have been
I am just running
Staring at the light in the distance
Let me go…
Don’t make this harder on us both
You killed me
You ripped my soul from my skin and pretended to be true
Go... there is no place for you here
You bled my heart and thrived from its essence
You walked with your head held high
My body lying shaken on the ground in your shadow
You never looked back for a moment
You never thought… What Have I done?
Decisions were simple when you were the one in control
Life was beautiful when things went your way
And your way was the only way
My words were held like water in your paper heart
My love for you was a pretty little granule of sand sitting in your palm
Easily thrown down to the ground and forgotten
Once I was your goddess, you my precious love
I am not fallen anymore love
You have no power here
God did Not take me that fateful night as I begged for his mercy
He left me, silent he remained
He did not comfort and shield me from the agony of being dead inside
He did not give me my dying breath as I wished
No words of comfort rang true to me
Nothing was left in my world without you
He let me hurt, he let me cry
He let me dance with the devil in the light of the moon
He left the memory of you deep within me love
And Now…
Now I know why
You are the curse breathed of the foulest kind
You are death within life
Within YOU is nothing without another lifting you high
Within you is an emptiness suited for the darkest of Gods creatures
You know not heaven or hell, only what is before you
YOU are broken with no where to turn
I see it in your eyes and like an angel of mercy I tried to take you away from your pain
You will never be the crescent moon in my silent night
What an angry soul you hold inside
What a tangled web you weave, and I am no longer entangled in it with you
I am without you
And my name will ring that light of happiness you once knew
You will be the one left in the darkness of this world
You will be the one left with less than a spark of hope
Every night you will look upon yourself and wonder where you went wrong
Every night you will fall asleep praying to not be awakened
God will not answer your prayers
Just as he did not answer mine that night
He has His plan, and he doesn’t play by your rules
You will suffer through what you have created
No second chances, there is only one chance in this lifetime
Either you take it or you don’t
I have been chosen, one of the precious few
Everything is going according to plan
God did not forsake me, he embraced me
You were lead blindly out of my life
You, confused and swearing you will always love me,
Me, fighting to keep you in my arms
But see it’s not your fault…
You know not what you do
You know not what you ran into, when You ran into me
You were to never receive what I am
Only to taste what an angel is
A fallen angel with a lonely human soul
I was not allowed to love until my eyes were truly opened to my path
But I did. I gave you the purest love and I recall your words
“I can’t believe someone loves me this much”
If you were the one, you’d have known
We are ALL loved THAT much
Jesus loves each and every one of us THAT much
If you were the one, you’d have believed
And now, many moons after you, I have risen again
Risen, holding the hand of god
Risen, standing in his magnificent light
Risen, walking a well lit path of love and truth
God has sent me one of my own kind
The one he has prepared me for my whole life
He has sent me one of his most beautiful angels to walk by my side
One who has fought to remove the ashes left by YOU
One who has been so patient with my tears
One who has been blessed by your absence
Your walking away and allowing me to grow
Saving me from years of continuing in the wrong direction
My angel was blessed by what you could not hold
He was blessed by what you could not understand
He was blessed by your ignorance
You will never be the one
There is nothing left of you