Tuesday, October 02, 2012
How are We, as humans, supposed to heal and forgive, while we are still being cut open daily? How are we to be able to stop bleeding when the moment the dagger is removed from our heart, it is immediately stabbed into our spine?
I sit in a recovery group... and I leave only to sit in my car and think to myself.. I am Not recovering from anything. I am still living it.
I am merely Coping.
Treading Water. Barely able to keep my head above water. If I were recovering, I would have swam or washed up to the shore after nearly drowning and be laying there. Recovery to me would be sitting there and washing myself of the pain and residue of the struggle, Spitting the water from my lungs. Waiting for the blood to course through my veins again to warm my body. A rescue team rushing in to help me stand as they wrap a blanket around me..
I am not recovering.
I am just trying to stay alive until I make it to the shore.