Wednesday, November 30, 2011

This could get messy...

Obviously my last post was a Long drawn out rant about getting ready to start school.. and now here I am 2 weeks from semester Wiser and more comfortable with the idea that my brain has Not turned to mush.. In fact I have surprised myself with an almost A+ average in all of my classes...

Sure sure this is only my first semester back in 10 years, and general ed classes arent that challenging, but I beg to differ in some ways.. I for one never knew Algebra wasnt a rubix cube.. if you only take the time to learn something and truly want to learn it, you can.. well I can (so far anyway) I was a c-d student when it came to algebra in high school.. so for 10+ years, I had the privilege to say I was never good in math.. but now, I have had a new door open up for me.. Hmm Maybe I Can be good in math.

I have realized that school is not a test of what you know, that we were not born with a bucket of knowledge and schools are just there to see what was in YOUR bucket.. Quite the opposite, We were born with a bucket of tools, and schools and teachers are there to TEACH you (wow, odd concept) how to use these tools. It has been an eye opening experience so much so that the speeches with my own kids have changed from, well sometimes we just arent good at things... to, if you Want to be good at it, you need to work for it... ask questions, ask for help, get tutoring...

I never thought I would be the one in class helping Other people learn how to solve an equatic equation.. but I am.. and it feels pretty good.

Now, as for this next semester coming up.. I STILL have anxiety all over again, but for a few different reasons.. I am about to take the next level up in Algebra, and I cant help but feel the same intimidation that I felt back in August :( But I WILL do my best, like I had said before, That is all I have to give. I am honestly still waiting to run into that brick wall that says You CANT do this.. you CANT learn this.. Its too hard.. (I am contradicting myself in my thoughts right now lol) but this is me, this is truth.. this is how I feel and what I fear.

The kids have adjusted well to me going to school, although I have run into a few problems regardless of whether I am in school or not.. Test nights are so stressful for me.. I am on edge and tense and nervous... and I just want peace and serenity and SILENCE... Not going to happen.. unfortunately the kids Will be kids.. and I will be... well... Angry LOL!!

Tomorrow at noon, I will find out if I can get into the Biology class I desperately need (only if someone gets purged for non payment tonight) But I have come to terms since registration day over a month ago that I may NOT get into it this semester.. It also kindled a little fire in me that says, I just cant sit here and do Nothing.. I need to do Something.. Sooooo I changed my Major to Nursing and I will still work on my Radiology degree as the classes become available.. this way, I will have a choice when it comes down to it. Unfortunately at my college there are only 18 seats available into the rad tech program PER YEAR....???!@?@?! ....yeeeaahhh.... SO beginning in January, I am going to apply for as many scholarships for nursing as possible so I can afford the Bridge program into a nearby (overpriced) university of St Francis... Back up plan you ask?? Well JJC offers a less credible RN program, but with 4 kids, a limited income, and limited time.. I have to do what I can do, and just be thankful that I am no longer treading water trying to survive... Sure, I may be swimming upstream.. but atleast I am still swimming and not standing still just accepting life as it is.

I have dreams, and without dreams you dont care to go anywhere other then where you are.. I am not going to watch another year of my life just drift away.. Not anymore...

Welp, Spongebob is on and me and Damien have a date at the Krusty Krab me mateys...
-Katie OUT!! LOL